


How to make a rainbow that doesn't disappear

by Phillasol_W



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Autistic Alec Lightwood, F/F, Gen, M/M, Trans Alec Lightwood, Trans Maia Roberts, autistic author, trans author
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-30
Updated: 2019-05-08
Packaged: 2019-12-26 13:43:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18283454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phillasol_W/pseuds/Phillasol_W
Summary: A collection of short texts about the friendship between Maia and Alec, aka what is not shown in the show.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Alisha herself confirmed Alec and Maia are best buddies ([hehe](https://twitter.com/WainwrightAE/status/1110337110660136960)) and the show doesn't want to show us their friendship (except the 3x15 scene) so I did it myself!  
>   
> Also, as Alec is autistic (it's canon and that's a Fact), I will use words like allistic, infodump, stim toy etc so if you don't understand, you can check [Amythest Schaber's youtube channel.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WexCWZPJE6A&list=PLAoYMFsyj_k1ApNj_QUkNgKC1R5F9bVHs) :)

        Alec was working in his office when his phone started to ring. It was Maia. He declined and texted her: “sorry, too tired to talk right now. Are you okay?”. Less than one minute later, her answer appeared on his screen: “no problem! Just having a problem with the Topic”. The Topic, with the capital letter, was them being in a relationship with a cis person. Which could sometimes be a problem. Their partners, Magnus for Alec and Clary for Maia, were adorable and understanding but at the end of the day, they were just… cis. “We can hangout at the end of the day? Come at my work, I know a quiet corner” he wrote. She rapidly answered a thumb up.  
        Alec worked slowly during all the afternoon. He had had shutdowns for several days in a raw and he was exhausted. He had to deal with a lot of problems at work and even if they were basic, it was just too much.  
        Maia arrived around six in the evening. Alec sighed in relief. With her, he didn’t need to mask and even if she was allistic, she was understanding his needs. He could totally be himself. They hugged each other tight and Alec brought her in a wing of the building where he worked that was apart and unfrequented.  
“Silence!” he said. “What I need. In my office, it’s not a real silence…”  
“Do you want me to talk in a low voice?”  
        He nodded and took a stim toy he had in his pocket.  
“I’ll try my best then!” she whispered with a smile. “So, Clary want to introduce me to her close friends.”  
“And…?”  
“Did you see me? I absolutely don’t pass! What if they’re transphobic? What if they pretend to be nice but they aren’t? What if…”  
“Maia, it’s going to be okay,” he cut off gently. “If they’re friends with Clary, I don’t think they’re transphobic. I think…” He was looking for his words. “I think, that Clary will disown them if they have a bad word towards you.”  
        Maia let a laugh out.  
“You’re right…”  
“And I think your passing is great! Look, when you come here…” “It’s because they’re afraid of you.”  
“I don’t know everyone here,” he laughed softly. “No, I think you pass. Don’t worry.”  
“You’re subjective!”  
“My cis colleagues aren’t. They’re transphobic jerks and I’m glad I’m not out to them. And they said ‘she’ to talk about you.”  
“Wait, are you serious?”  
“Totally.”  
        Maia opened her mouth in a perfect ‘o’.  
“Alec,” she made after a few second, “I’ve beaten the cis.”  
“Yes you did girl!” he said with a soft smile.  
        They did a high five. Maia then got lost in her thoughts while Alec was still occupying his hands with his stim toy. He had found it on a mundane website but it was rather great.  
“Maia, can I infodump to you…?” he asked after several minutes.  
“Always!” she smiled.  
“So, it’s currently the World Archery Championship and…”  
        Maia was grinning. She loved listening to Alec talking about his special interests. It was always a precious moment between them and she was always actually learning things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're cis (= not trans) please don't talk about passing! If your trans friend told you it's okay then it's okay for that friend. Else don't do it


	2. Names

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec and Maia talk about how they chose their names.

“Alec, how did you choose your name?”  
“A-L-E-X-A-N-D-E-R we are meant to be,” he started to sing.  
“…Are you serious?” Maia said while raising an eyebrow.  
“…No,” he laughed. “But Lin Manuel Miranda himself got inspired by my existence and…”  
“Wait,” she cut off, “is this true?”  
        He waited for two seconds before bursting into laughter.  
“Of course not! How would I have met him?”  
        She hit gently his shoulder.  
“Actually,” he continued, “it’s just that I wanted a long name that could be shortened, like Isabelle and Izzy, Maxwell and Max, and it was the same for my deadname. And I don’t know, I was looking by the window, and the name just came to me.”  
        Maia laughed.  
“Your name had little wings and arrived to your head?”  
        Alec frowned.  
“It’s a name, it doesn’t have wings.”  
“Alec,” she smiled, “I was joking.”  
“Oh.” He scratched the back of his head. “I’m sorry.”  
“No, it’s me, sometimes I forget you have trouble with that.”  
        Alec shrugged and smiled too.  
“Also,” he added, “before my coming out, I managed to ask to my mother what names she had in mind for Max and she told me there was Alistair and then I made researches and a related name was Alexander.”  
“Oh, that’s really interesting. But you didn’t regret, since your mother…?”  
        Alec shrugged again.  
“It’s too late. I really like my name.”  
“Nice then!” she smiled.  
“What about you Maia?”  
“It’s not an interesting story…” She started but Alec tilted his head to show he was interested. “It’s just the name of a star. I wanted the name of a star, I searched star names and found Maia. And I took it.”  
“Every story of how trans people chose their name is interesting, Maia! Yours too. But why a star…?”  
“Thanks! And… I don’t know, I just think the sky is fascinating. Also, it’s really beautiful. So, I thought it would be cool for a name,” she smiled softly.  
“You’re right, it is! And your name is really pretty, I think it suits you.”  
“Stop it, you’re going to make me blush,” she laughed.  
“Don’t tell me I’m not right!”  
“Well… I don’t want to toot my own horn but…”  
“Maia, I’m stopping you right now, no one uses this expression.”  
        She rolled her eyes and Alec and her burst into laughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just in case, Alec is singing "My shot" from the musical Hamilton :,)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maia explains how she met Clary.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If someone is interested, I was listening to this while writing: [Mediterráneo - Alba Reche](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wjsDnBWtbs), the lyrics are absolutely not related to the story but the melody/Alba's voice are really soft and magical

        Alec and Maia were lying in grass next to each other. They had had a rough day and Alec had suggested that they should hang out a bit together. Maia had agreed immediately and here they were, somewhere in Central Park.  
“Alec…”  
        He turned over to her and nodded to show he was listening.  
“Do you remember how I met Clary?”  
“Actually, you never told me.”  
“I… I did what?!” she exclaimed, surprised. “Alec, I’m the worst friend ever.”  
“No, you’re my best friend.”  
        She glanced at him with a soft smile and sat up. And began to talk.  
  
_“You know, when I met Clary… I was in a bad place. In a very bad place. I didn’t even know you yet. I was very depressed. I was lost on my gender. I think I knew I was a girl but I couldn’t admit it to myself. And I was already working at the Hunters’ Moon. One evening, she came and the world stopped. She came and suddenly it was only her. I think I didn’t move for two or three minutes, which is a lot when you work at a bar. She was with her friends, and they were laughing and her smile was so beautiful. And she left. And she came back one week later, alone. She sat at the counter and smiled at me, and asked for a grenadine. She had the softest smile; I can still see it. I couldn’t stop looking at her. I had to stop so I could serve other customers but suddenly it was late and she was the only one left, still sipping her grenadine. She asked for my name and I… I couldn’t answer. I couldn’t give her my deadname. But it’s not like I had chosen “Maia” at that time. So, I mumbled that it was complicated and she just said “Okay” and smiled. I was positively surprised. Then she told me her name. She explained that she saw I was looking at her (and here I thought I was discreet…) and that she thought that my eyes were pretty. Basically, she asked me out on a date. And I freaked out. I rejected her. There was no way a girl as beautiful as her could find me pretty._  
_“She didn’t come back the week after. And I couldn’t stop thinking about her. It had been weeks of darkness but her presence had been a small light. It was agreeable. And suddenly it was gone. Also, the name incident made me think. I decided to go to a talking group for trans people. And, thanks god, there were other black people, it wasn’t all white – that was my biggest fear. Because I knew I couldn’t totally relate to their experiences. And I heard everyone talk, and suddenly it was my turn. I talked about Clary and how I couldn’t give her my name, and I talked about all the doubts I’ve had forever. And two other weeks passed. I decided to use new pronouns with my close friends who knew I had doubts. And it was… Suddenly, everything felt right. I chose a name quite quickly but I knew it was the right choice._  
_“Clary came back one month and a half after her last visit. She was with only one friend. She saw me and something sad appeared in her eyes. I thought, “damn, she seems so adorable, I can’t let her pass again” and gave her my number. She texted me three days later. I told her my name. She told me it was very pretty. We decided to go on a date. Then, we went on three or four dates, and we were so close, and quickly we were girlfriends. And it was already three years ago.”_  
  
“Wow,” Alec made after a few minutes, “this is an amazing story. I’m so glad you found her, you deserve it so much.”  
“Thank you, it means a lot.”  
“I can relate a bit, when I met Magnus… everything was dark but he was here. He was just here. And it was… I was so grateful.”  
“Tell me the story again?”

**Author's Note:**

> i've stopped writing for this fandom, i'm sorry that i won't be able to write more about them and bring more autistic!alec and trans!maia/alec stories in this world because they deserve it  
> support own voices ♥


End file.
